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2 • Green Oxford • [Lotsa' Action/Voice]
• Your next shower will be interrupted by a large mildly poisonous insect. 
• Today is what life's all about. Go get 'em tiger! 
• Don't sleep, shriners want to eat you. 
• Quit your job. Who needs that crap? 

[Action / For Barnaby]

[Unfortunately, somebody didn't bother to look over their journal this morning, when he undresses half-asleep and steps into the shower. In the middle of washing the shampoo out of his hair, he notices a tickling feeling against his back, and when he turns—there's a spider the size of his entire head on the tile wall.


When he stumbles out  of the bathroom dragging a pair of pants back on he trips over his own ankle, faceplants, and looks up to find... more spiders. More and more spiders, all over the apartment—and they all in unison turn to stare at him with wide beady black eyes.]


[POR QUE?!?! 

Cue a huge racket in Community Housing 1, Floor 3, Room 14; lots of breaking noises and hissing and WOOOAHWOAH ACKs. By they time they've systematically defeated him and are dragging him helplessly with webs, he's punching in his PDA for Barnaby.]

Oi, Bunny!! [Webs... all over... getting dragged... SPIDERS I HATE SPIDERS] Can you bring me some Raid?!

[Voice / Open To All]

What the hell! Giant spiders?! Really? [the sound of the journal crumpling as he looks SUPER CLOSE at it] What's with this, huh?! Don't tell me this is supposed to be one of those shift things, right?? Dammit, I wasn't looking forward to one of these...! What is that supposed to even mean?? 'Today is what life's all about'...? Ha! I'm sure.

... 'go get 'em tiger'. Malnosso, you're not very cute. Not at all...

[He blinks in the middle of his ramble, as if he just realized something. And sits for a moment, before a dreamy smile crosses his face.]

But y'know... It's not so bad. I mean, horoscopes are really helpful sometimes, aren't they? Those Malnosso, maybe they're just being considerate! Maaa, how nice of them.... [Headturn--] And the sun! So bright, even though we just had a ton of snow... Today really is a wonderful day, naa? And the trees are all so green and pretty! Oi, did you know green is one of my favoritest colors...?

Just... brings a nice smile to your face.

[Oh christ. You can find him being unnaturally happy and content, whether he's sitting near the fountain enjoying the scenery or he's sitting in the forest near the lake in a big winter coat... Aaaah. Yes, what a wonderful day indeed... One can find him like this on Friday or Saturday, being all content.

Though... On Sunday of the event? When he's just his normal ol' self for once? For some reason—cough, horoscope, cough—he hasn't been able to go to bed. He sluggishly drags himself out of bed, makes a ton of coffee, visits the restaurant, goes to the bar—he can only hope the booze will help to knock him out. Man, this sucks. He's going on two nights without sleeping, so if you notice he's a bit sluggish, that might be the conundrum. He's just lucky the shift isn't letting it effect his brain's health, man. `_`]

[[ooc: so much stuff :|;; Basically Friday is 'spiders + happy~~~', Saturday is 'happy day cont.', and Sunday is his sleeping problems day! Just lemme know what day it is via subject line or obviousness or whatever you want. He'll be around later in the week, too. So yeah! XD]]

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[ .. honestly kotetsu you didn't even have to call him on your PDA because sriously

the racket you're making over there. seriously.

but don't worry because your bunny waifu is here to save you!! barnaby is already glowing bright blue by the time he KICKS THE DOOR IN (and by in, i really mean like, straight off of its hinges) and leaps into the room. the. web-covered. room....

what the fuck. ]

(Frozen) (Thread)

PSHT just shut up and save my dumb ass

[HEY how's it going aibou, I'm just busy hanging upside down still soapy but at least pants properly in the middle of the room as a shitload of huge spiders scurry over to wrap me up more. THIS WOULD BE A PRETTY HORRIFYING WAY TO GO not gonna lie.

Why do these kinds of things happen to me oh my god—]

Oiiii, cut it out—!!

[As if telling bugs that really helps anything, but still. Can't turn to try. With Barnaby there? The horde turns in eerie unison as they had with Kotetsu.]

Bunny—!! Be careful!

(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

[ it takes him a second to figure out just where your voice is coming from and .. jesus jucking christ oh my god what is going on..

but okay whatever barnaby doesn't really have time to think about this okay, he's only got give minutes and he has to use them wisely, considering the horde is onto him. when the first spider leaps, barnaby snaps out his leg and sends it careening like a soccer ball across the flat, where it hits the wall with an awful splat, then POW, roundhouse kicks three at a time, sending them spinning and breaking off several of their legs (which kind of lie there and twitch on the floor). ]

Don't worry, Kotetsu - hang in there!

[ l o l ]

(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

[S-STRUGGLING OH GOD FANGS. Already lined with blue himself now, he throws his head forward and HEADBUTTS A SPIDER ACROSS THE FLOOR.


If you could just snap some of the web, I might be able to—
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

[aaand he stops struggling to give Bunny a look.]

Naaa, Hang in there? Really? Is that your best dramatic yell for this?
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

[ lmaolmao wait barnaby has to stop for a moment, because he totally didn't get what he was implying there, but he realizes it just as he's delivering a facesmashing kick to the teeth of yet another spider, knocking it back into several of its skittering brethren. it's like spider bowling.

aaand he's cracking the smallest of grins okay, mostly at your face and your misfortune, not so much at the unintended pun. ]

If you don't like it, I could just leave you here to fend for yourself.

[ man h is kicking so much spider ass rn these bitches ain't got nothin' on him. ]
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)


Will you just get me down already?!

[;~; oh god please they are crawling on me I don't appreciate not being able to punch them WOW look at the TEETH on this one next to my face `_`]
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

[ uh oh, partner in distress. barnaby leaps over several carcasses and deftly kicks away the spider crawling up the webs, hard enough to ruffle kotetsu's hair as his foot passes, and then he's kicking off of the wall to take down the cocoon, and sweeping down to catch kotetsu, web and all, in his arms. ]

It wouldn't hurt you to say please.

(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)




[On the plus side, he's got one of his arms free from plenty of wriggling. Just gotta. Kick my feet free. One, two, KICKU.

Heeeey, there's my foot. How you doin', foot.]

Maaa, webs shouldn't be this strong! This is stupid.

(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

[ yeah it's sorta my MO, you're just gonna have to deal with it.

unless you would prefer that, next time, i just let you fall and crack your skull open? would that be better, you big fat whiner? what a douchebag.

anyway he's just gonna set him down since the spiders are closing in again, and with his hundred power activated he makes quick work of those webs on you, bro. ]

Spiders' silk is actually incredibly strong. And given the size of them..
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)


He gets himself out of them in time to punt a spider across the living room, grumping hardcore; the last thing he wanted was to be covered in spider guts and webs and I JUST SHOWERED AND MY APARTMENT IS SO GROSS NOW.]

Let's see them try that again!!

[Oh, uh, heads up, because it's like they totally understood him and are shooting webs at you. On the plus side, there's only like half of the original amount; more room to avoid them, at least. :|

At least I still have like three minutes of NEXT power YOSHHHH]
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)


and sorry spideys, barnaby is too fast for that. he dashes out of the way and kicks off of the wall again, caving in some of the plaster and shooting off toward the pair of spinners over there and kicking them right out of the open window. ]
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)


Kotetsu did not expect to be punching spiders in the... ass-thorax-whatevers today. But here we are. He grabs a few by the legs and flings them into the wall before hopping on his couch. WHOOP accidently flipped if over on a spider in the process—

Aaand it's not long at all until the last of them is squished before this hero here collapses on top of his upside-down couch, rubbing his face. Maybe I should fetch a shirt. But I'm too busy facepalming over the mess left in my apartment.]


M'gonna need a lot of mops.
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)

[ well that was easy enough. the spiders were plentiful, but they weren't very tough.

still. he has gross insect guts on his nice leather boots. :c barnaby frowns and sidesteps a pile of mush, wiping the bottom of his left boot on your floor since well. it's a drop in the bucket at this point. ]

Mm. Good luck.

[ because he sure as shit ain't helpin'. ]
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread)


Heeeey! You helped make this mess! Don't just leave me to deal with it!
(Frozen) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)

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